


Twilight of the Heart

by WeAreTheNight



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bad Ending, Goku is so in love, I'm Sorry, M/M, Majin Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Mental Health Issues, Mention of Goku/Chichi, POV Alternating, Past Vegeta/Bulma, Post-Majin Buu Saga, Vegeta is still Majin, Vegeta straight up kidnaps Goku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:16:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28495209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAreTheNight/pseuds/WeAreTheNight
Summary: The possessed Saiyan Prince defeats Majin Buu after agreeing to assist Goku. In the aftermath of Babidi’s death, the spell still has a powerful hold over Vegeta, and it has ruined his mind. Can Goku bring him back from the twilight?
Relationships: Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

It was a funny thing, being rejected by one's family. While I couldn't say I'd done much for my wife and son, I really had loved them. But now, I just... My heart no longer beat for them.

After all, Kakarrot is my only objective. 

I watched him from an isolated place, just away from the cliffs. It sickened me to see one of the most powerful beings in this universe be so easily dragged into this menial work. He slaved away for his human wife, preparing her fields for their crops; she had no intention of helping him, of course. It was extremely hot for an Earth day in this climate. While I myself felt comfortable- finally- in the sun, Kakarrot, being raised on Earth, suffered somewhat as he toiled in the sunlight. A Saiyan was not a work animal, I thought again to myself as I continued to observe him. A Saiyan's strength had, of course, the potential for outstanding work performance, but it did not entail dragging a Saiyan through the mud for the sake of a harder working creature bringing more of a profit. 

Saiyans, often proud and vain, powerful and beautiful, were deserving of all the luxuries the universe had to offer. We were gods- or should be- to so low of a species as these humans. We held so much potential and power that it would be hard to deny a Saiyan what it truly desired without the threat of imminent death hanging over their heads. 

He did not deserve this, I believed. We would get no such treatment on this mudball. Therefore, it would better suit us to take some form of action to remedy it.

Kakarrot was taking a break, I supposed, for he approached me with a questioning smile. It seemed that he sought his Prince's company. And I felt willing to give it. "Kakarrot," I rumbled in greeting.

"You've been watching me all day," he commented, wiping sweat off his forehead. Disgusting that he was forced into so low a task as this. I hated that he had to put effort into this. Better that the whole field be blown off the face of the planet and free him. "Everything ok?"

"Of course," I replied. I watched him sit down beside me and looked back over the fields. Gods, I wanted it gone. It was not his right to do this. A Saiyan was not meant to be such a low worker. Even as a third-class, Kakarrot likely would have been in the army at the very least. With his power, he would have been at my right hand, beside his King. I hated that we remained here. I hated that my promised place as King was nothing more now than a child's dream, a lost requiem that clung to the edges of my mind.

I hated almost everything, I supposed. Ever since Babidi's end, I had felt nothing positive. Anger, hate, loneliness, misery. Nothing more. Even those had grown dull with Babidi's death. The spell should have broken, but it did not. I always dimly wondered why, but those thoughts, meaningless and pertaining only to the past, were gradually cast aside as I focused on the things at hand. Such as my new plans.

"We should run away," I said, and Kakarrot looked baffled at the wistful tone of my voice. "You and I. We should leave Earth."

"Ru- Vegeta, I can't run away!" he exclaimed, and his confusion at so simple idea made me sigh internally. "I know that you don't have anything keeping you here anymore, but I still have ties. I can't leave Gohan and Goten. They need me."

I sniffed slightly. "Hm. Please. Gohan has Satan's daughter, and Goten has Gohan and my son. Odd how your wife does not play into your emotional attachment, but I understand that. Your sons can remain without trouble. Without you, Kakarrot." 

He stared up at me, his eyes dark, then whispered with what I detected to be pain, "Vegeta, I miss you. I know you can't feel that. I know you couldn't care any less. I know that you don't understand it anymore, but gods, I miss you."

"Wrong." I looked down at him. "I do understand. I know that you miss the part of me that was..." I struggled to think of a word that could convey the sense of having emotion. "Alive, in a sense. I do sense that you think me incomplete without that part of my mind functioning. I cannot regret what I did. And I cannot feel sorry about my lack of regret. It's a continuous cycle until there is... nothing. But I do feel something for that nothingness. I feel hate. I hate that I cannot feel any form of regret for your pain, for I do sense that it is there." I sat down and looked back over the fields. "Tell me what you miss, Kakarrot. I will try to understand, if I can."

Kakarrot picked at the grass, thinking deeper than I'd ever seen him think before. "I miss... you. I miss your laugh. You didn't laugh very often, but when you did, it was so nice to hear. I miss how confused and frustrated you'd get with me and even yourself. How mad you'd get over the little things, things you had no hope of controlling. It was kind of funny. I miss that and so much more. Now it's... You're like one of Bulma's computers. You're alive, but... At the same time, there's nothing there."

I nodded, watching his hands fiddle with the blades of grass. I did understand in a sense. I was broken; my head was broken. The burns and tears left behind by the stitchings of Babidi's magic had little hope of healing. It had torn my family apart. It had further wounded my already poor moral standing. And yet... he made it better, for a reason I could not hope to know. When in Kakarrot's presence, I occasionally felt slight things that I had not felt in a very long time now. 

Did my soul need to heal? Some part of me said yes. A stone heart, capable of being both cold and hot, had little use in a body meant for feeling a warrior's passion. The broken parts of me laughed at the same time, mocking my need for some closure. Did my soul need to heal? Those parts of me said no.

Kakarrot spoke, drawing me out of my thoughts. "So you really wanna leave Earth? And you really wanna go with me, of all people?" He looked at me, still not understanding my intentions, for I did have some ulterior motives.

Then again, when didn't I?

"I do," I replied. My purposes, for once, were not ill. "No longer being burdened with some of the complications of emotion, I can see things from a completely logical standpoint. I have good reasons for wanting to leave, and good reasons for you going with me." I waited for a request to continue.

"Go on."

I had his interest now. Good. "For so many years, you have been in the service of the humans. For, yes, you were in their service. Are in their service. You know, Kakarrot, there is a saying that the humans have that reigns so true for so many." I looked up into the blue of the sky. "You either die a villain or live long enough to see yourself become a hero. You die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain." I let that sink in. "I wanted neither, so I walked a fine line between being a hero and a villain for many many years. It suited me quite well, I believe, until Babidi. And after his death, I am now nothing. Therefore, I have potential for neither being a hero or a villain." I looked at him again. "A hero is so used, Kakarrot. You are deserving of anything you desire, and yet you do not have it. You deny yourself, and resentment grows from denial."

"Being a hero doesn't work like that," he laughed softly, and I heard a clear note of bitterness in his voice. Ah. Ah, he did feel that resentment. "You don't get what you want after doing good. You keep on keeping on no matter what." He sighed. "Even when you ain't appreciated for it."

"That is why you should appreciate yourself." I shrugged. "That is why I have offered this. A Saiyan should not deny himself of anything he desires, whatever it may be." I looked at him pointedly. "Especially being a Saiyan, a creature, of your caliber. If they do not give you the glory and praise you so deserve and desire, then give it to yourself through your own means. You are undeserving of the treatment you receive here. You are used, Kakarrot. A farm tool. A hero. The Savior of the Earth. That's what they see you as. But not me. Not me, Kakarrot. To me you are Kakarrot. And just Kakarrot. Nothing more. But nothing less. You are a magnificent being, and I know that it is an honor and a privilege to be at your side for as long as I have. And I wish for you to remain at my side for a very long time to come." I smiled at Kakarrot, and I felt strangely pleasured at the spark of joy in his eyes at even a little emotion showing through my broken mind. 

Kakarrot rubbed his neck, looking away from me again. "I do miss you, but... I'm kinda getting to like this you too, Vegeta. I think I'm finally getting used to it."

"Unwise." I grinned again. "You know better than anyone else that even in my current state I am prone to change in a breath."

"And I'll get used to that too." He smiled at me with those big, dark eyes. "Like you said, you don't have to worry about anything like conflicting thoughts because you don't really feel much. What would be the best decision for me, from my point of view?"

Huh. Flattery. I hadn't felt that in years, and it honestly made my chest tighten that he deemed me trustworthy enough to aid him in such a vital decision. "I have spoken my thoughts," I replied, "and I will voice them again. You should come with me. I believe that some distance from would help both of us. You need to reevaluate yourself and the potential you have. I..." I tilted my head. I did not want to say this aloud, yet I knew that, logically, it would further improve my relationship with Kakarrot. Why did I hesitate? Ah. Embarrassment. But I no longer had that. "You do not see it, and I do not understand it, but I want you close to me not only due to the closeness we have, but because there is something about you that helps me-" I tapped my temple gently. "- in here. I do not know how or why. You just do. I want to feel less broken. I can only feel that way when it is just you and me, Kakarrot. I do have selfish motives, yes. But they are not evil intent."

Kakarrot gazed at me, his thoughts obviously turbid and wild. It would take time, naturally, for him to make his final decision, and he confirmed this to me when, standing, he said, "Thank you, Vegeta. For everything." He smiled. "You know, I enjoyed that. I enjoyed talking to you today. Thank you." He started to walk away, saying, "I'll get back to you, yeah?"

"I will wait," I called. "I have no reason to leave without you." When he paused, a bit surprised by my answer, I went on. "I have come to realize that I truly have no purpose with your absence. If you wish to remain, I will honor that. And here I will stay."

He looked back. He was clearly deeply touched by my words. He smiled again and went on.

I sniffed. Pity that it would take him so long to make the decision that I had already, in a way, made for him.


	2. Chapter 2

"I see you have returned."

I sighed, not meeting his eyes. I'm not sure how I'd feel looking into that deadly blue gaze. He already knew my decision; likely he had for some time. After fighting the guilt that came with the threat of abandonment, I told my beloved sons and my dearest friends goodbye. Some part of me questioned why I would give up my relatively happy life for him, but my Saiyan blood called for a change. I looked at him then, and again I shivered upon looking into his eyes.

They always looked dead to me, like when a body has been left long enough to turn the eyes grey. His pupils almost seemed to have faded slightly with time, half blending in with his blue-green irises. I didn't much like it, but eventually I grew used to his dead stare. "Yeah... Are you ready?"

"Naturally," he replied. Gods, even his voice was flat. He'd totally forgotten how to even pretend to have emotion at this point. It scared me, to be honest. "I have a ship waiting. Are you familiar with Bulma's Altitude?"

"Nope," I replied, following him as he headed for a new location. "Is it a newer ship?"

"Somewhat. She only built it a few years ago. I helped design it." He looked over his shoulder, his gaze implying something.

"How long have you been planning this, exactly?" I had to ask.

"Four years. Yes." He nodded in confirmation. He'd grown weird little habits of commenting on his own thought process or replying to himself as if a question had been asked. 

I was really glad that I couldn't see into his head. He was scary enough without me knowing what he thought about. 

But perhaps it was little more than basic things, simple calculations and probabilities of reactions that he himself or others around him could have to a thousand variables or nothing at all. Without emotion, he was little more than a machine. But it made me happy to know that around me he had even a little emotion. Only for me, it seemed. I liked that.

The ship was indeed impressive. The Altitude was big, certainly, but not so big as to seem absurdly large for our purposes. Vegeta wanted luxury and solitude with me, and this could provide us with both. Seeing my expression, Vegeta tilted his head. "Does this please you?" he asked. 

I smiled. "Yeah, it looks great! Can't wait to see the inside. Is it comfy?"

"Very. I had the intentions of perfect comfort for Saiyans." The port opened and we slipped inside. "The colors are warm for your sake; I know you favor them over blues and greens and purples. My own cabin clashes somewhat due to its darer shades."

I looked around, amazed. It was like a cruise ship, but for space. I could smell food and something else. My senses relaxed and I had to purr. The whole atmosphere of the ship was laid back and calm. I was pretty surprised that Vegeta had managed to design such a relaxed environment. "I've gotta admit, I am very impressed!" I said. "This is cool!"

His eyes had been assessing everything about my reaction to the ship. "This aesthetic pleases you. Good. There will be little need to worry about supplies for quite some time. I was very careful in my calculations of what we would need. I know that you are hungrier some days and prepared for that as well. I myself eat notably less than what I know is a healthy proportion for a Saiyan my age and size, and I am hoping to remedy that."

"Don't lose me there," I laughed. It was funny when he started to ramble. He really liked talking. "You worked so hard to make this happen."

"I did, but it was just what was necessary." Even now he was a tad conceited. Little bastard.

I grinned and let him show me around. I'd noticed that he didn't cover up his mark today; normally he hid the large black M behind a wall of makeup. Not today, it seemed. Had he forgotten or just felt confident enough around me now that we were alone to let that reminder show? Despite the horrible memories that mark carried with it, I was proud whenever he bore it. It meant that he accepted what he was, what he had become. That was always the first steps of healing.

Back home, he'd always been pressured- bullied even- into hiding it. I could tell that he didn't want to, but for some reason, he always did as he was told, hiding his mark and permanently golden hair behind makeup and dye. There was nothing they could do to hide his blue eyes, and Bulma had grown to hate them, how dead they always were. Contacts would burn away in seconds. 

She gave up trying to change him, and with her many failed attempts, she gave him up too.

His mind no longer felt emotion, but his body often showed signs of a racking hidden problem. He didn't process the emotions that problem produced. He didn't understand the nervous twitches and tics he had developed over time, couldn't understand why his body would freeze, paralyzed, when he tried to sleep.

It made me so sad to see when those things happened. It hurt even more watching him try to understand. He truly could not know how broken he had become.

After showing me the ship, Vegeta didn't seem to know what to do, so he simply set us off out of the exosphere and set the ship on autopilot, sitting down and watching the black spaces outside. I sat with him, sensing that he desired company. I watched him as he stared blankly. What was he thinking about? Was he thinking at all? I could hardly compare the process of his thoughts with my own. When I wasn't thinking, I just felt. He couldn't do that. 

"You have a question."

I blinked, then sighed and nodded. "Yeah, actually. What are you thinking about, Vegeta?"

"I am trying to remember," was all he said.

"Remember?"

"Oh. I should elaborate." He focused his eyes and looked at me. "I am trying to remember how to feel certain things. Will you help me?"

"Of course!" I said with a grin. I was about to say more, but he cut me off.

"That. There. What did you feel, Kakarrot?" His eyes were searching, and I thought for a split second that I saw a spark of life.

"Excitement," I blurted. 

Vegeta closed his eyes. "When do you feel that?"

He was actually trying to relearn how to feel things. I was floored. That took dedication. "Gosh, all the time. I think it would be better to tell you when you would normally feel excited." He looked at me curiously. "Like when I said I'd come with you. That would have been a good place to feel excited. When you see your favorite food. When we spar. Does that help?" Geez, this was exciting.

He frowned. "Does excitement feel like your chest and stomach seeming to grow tighter? Does your heart beat somewhat faster?"

"Yep," I replied, nodding. "And it goes with feeling happy most of the time. Do you remember feeling happy?" That sentence, freshly out of my mouth, suddenly broke my heart. It was devastating that I had to say that to anyone, much less my best friend. 

Vegeta sensed the sharp change in my mood, and the shift of his expression made me realize that he knew well the feeling I had right now. I watched his eyes come to life, but not in a good way. There was pain there, sympathy. "No," he whispered. "I want to remember, but I cannot. I know what you are feeling. I remember grief all to well."

The urge to hold him suddenly overwhelmed me. I blinked back a few tears and resisted. He wouldn't want me to touch him-

"What did I say about denying yourself, Kakarrot?" he said suddenly, startling me. I looked up; he was watching me. "If you wish to do something, do it." That was permission. He'd read me like a book and gave me permission to seek and give comfort.

I hugged him, and my heart nearly shot out of my chest when I felt him nuzzle into my shoulder. He wanted this. That was good. If he knew to seek comfort when feeling negatively about something, it was progress. With comfort would eventually come happiness. I just prayed that with time would come the healing he so desperately needed.

His warm breath was slow and measured against my clothes and skin. He seemed surprisingly relaxed, and it made me feel better. I shifted my cheek to rest against his and felt wetness there. I drew back and realized that he'd been crying. With a gasp I hurriedly wiped them away. "Shh, shh, don't cry, Vegeta, I'm here, it's ok. We got this, it's ok."

"I know," he replied, his voice steady despite the tears sliding slowly down his cheeks. He drew a hand across his cheek, frowning at the sensation. "I do not have a reason to cry." He sounded a little confused.

"Sometimes you don't have to have a good reason," I said, cupping his face in my hands gently. "Sometimes it just happens. And that's ok. Sometimes it's good to cry."

Vegeta nodded. "Ok. This is good?"

"I think so, yeah." I pulled him into my lap and held him close again. He cringed and shivered slightly, his eyes widening. "What? Is everything ok?" I asked.

He nodded a little, starting to tremble faintly as he went slightly limp in my arms. Touch starved, I realized with a jolt. He's so unused to being touched in any way that it's almost too much for him. I stroked his soft hair slowly to let him grow more accustomed to my touch. He jumped slightly with every pet. He looked baffled but fascinated by his every reaction.

It was... cute. Very cute. I had to smile as he further relaxed in my hold and let me do what I pleased with him. It was so entertaining to watch him shift into each movement of mine, whether it was another hand running over his head or a gentle rub along his arm or side. He was enjoying it. I smiled.

When I gradually stopped to allow his senses a reprieve, he opened his eyes and looked up at me. He was dazed, I saw, his mind and reaction time slowed by the gentle contact. I'd almost put him to sleep! His eyes fluttered in a lazy attempt to stay awake, and my chest grew tight. Once he'd conquered the urge to fall asleep, he shifted in my arms, stretching a bit to deter some stiffness in his muscles. "Do you feel better?" I asked softly.

He nodded. "Yes. I... I enjoyed that." He thought for a few moments, then smiled slightly. I saw his brain working overtime in an attempt to identify this feeling.

I shook my head. "Hey. Don't think so much about it. That may be part of your problem, Vegeta. Maybe if you think a little less, then you'll feel more."

He blinked sharply as if a lightbulb had gone on right in his head. "I think you are right," he said. "Just as emotion prohibits thinking, perhaps thinking prohibits emotion?" 

"You were thinking a lot less just now," I said, catching onto his thoughts. "And it felt good. Didn't it? It wasn't anything bad. Just because you felt it doesn't mean that you have to put a label on it. That'll just confuse you later when you start feeling different things again." I felt excitement building up. "This is a good time to be excited, Vegeta. We're making progress."

He nodded and smiled again, and this time it almost reached his eyes. My heart fluttered and half swooned. Gods, I missed his smile. It was honestly so pretty. It made his eyes seem brighter than before. 

Perhaps this was actually starting to help. Perhaps we stood a chance of fixing him after all. And maybe I'd find my own peace with him.


	3. Chapter 3

Was this a mistake? I asked myself as I was slammed against the wall, as I gave myself yet again to my teacher and friend and healer, as I relearned this feeling sparking like electricity through my system as he howled my name through tears of agonized ecstasy. No. No it was not. 

I was exhausted when I was finally released, shaking and panting through the heat of the aftermath of our very spontaneous activity. 

We had just been talking... I dazedly forced myself through the memories of the opening to the sequence of these very strange events. 

"Something is wrong with me," I said, tilting my head. I sat with Kakarrot at my side. I frowned, assessing myself. Something felt amiss.

"Are you hurting?" he asked me; I heard concern.

Was it pain? No. I shook my head. The sensation grew stronger when I looked at him again. I noticed everything with an even sharper focus than normal. What was it? I felt my heart pounding and my skin crawling as I took in his muscular frame, his hands, the shape of his mouth, the blinding shimmer of his eyes, everything, everything, the feeling of his thighs under my hands, the feeling of his hands gripping my braced arms, the sound of his confused voice hitting my ears like music, the smell of his skin filling my nose, the taste of his mouth and saliva, the horrible burning inside me that screamed for more, these feelings, all these feelings eating me alive, I was alive again!

And just as quickly as it had begun, I found myself dragging him on top of me, snapping my teeth and snarling his name like a prayer to my goddess as he complied to my every command, quickly catching my wild fervor like a disease and losing himself with me. Our skin burned as we came together. How long had I been craving this? What was this? I couldn't remember!

"Hurry," I gasped, "hurry, before it goes away! What is this, Kakarrot, what is it???"

"Oh, trust me, it's not going away any time soon," he growled in my ear, sending racking shudders through my body like a seizure. "This is- This is something special. This is lust."

Sparkling memories returned suddenly, and with it fresh pulses of this heady arousal. Yes, I remembered now. This was very good.

Kakarrot knew me so well, well enough to know that being slow and gentle would easily irritate me. I had never liked pain with pleasure, but gods, I loved this. He was rough, but not enough to really harm me. He had to be an angel; I was in a new heaven and it brought a part of me that I never thought I'd be again to life. It wasn't once that he brought me to a screaming finish, not twice or thrice or even four times. I lost count at the seventh climax, everything in my head wiped clean of thought as he continued to torture me into pleasure I'd never dreamed of.

You passed out eventually, he had laughed some time later. Thought I'd killed you. It's been a really long time since you've had sex, huh?

There we were again, all over each other like animals in heat. I craved the feeling he brought to me. When he held me at that edge, I remembered it all. I had everything back, even if just for a little while. Every time I rode out that high, a little more stayed with me. He was my healer. This had become my therapy. And he was happy too, I came to see. He loved this almost as much as I did, and that made me feel... happy.

I grew far too fond of the way he would smile so brilliantly at me as we lay together, basking in each other's warmth. Every kiss made me feel more and more. Was this healing? It certainly felt like it. Hardly a moment went by that we were not touching in some way, whether it be his hand protectively around my waist, my hand grasping his lovingly, his smiling lips against mine, my hand sinking into his pants yet again...

Insatiable, he called me. Addicted, I'd retort. Crazy, he would laugh. Yours, I whispered. 

We grew to learn that I suffered from a wild tangle of various problems. Apparently I had some kind of depressive disorder as well as anxiety. I received a clearer diagnosis when Kakarrot and I went to a special place, where the inhabitants could seek out unique problems in the mind. The alien that treated me seemed shocked the moment it pressed into my broken mind. It sensed the ruined spell that had destroyed my head. 

Could it fix me? Only very slowly. It would take a very long time to return to a semblance of my former self. I would never be the same again after the kind of damage I had sustained. 

We stayed there for a long time, about three Earth years. Every day fell into a surprisingly pleasant routine. I would awaken to the softest touches and kisses from my lover, and we relaxed there in our bed. Some days we would make love. We stuffed ourselves to the brim with maddeningly tasty things that I had never seen or tried before. An inhabitant of this place would come sit with us and reach into the cracked pieces of my mind. Slowly but surely I was pieced together, like a child's puzzle. 

Kakarrot treated me like a butterfly, as if my healing meant that I was growing more fragile. No. If anything, I was strengthened by these mental exercises and resurfaced memories. As I healed, the darker feelings, the only things I had known for so long, began to fade, and as they died, they were slowly replaced with such good things: excitement, contentment, joy, even love. Oh, especially love. I was so in love with my savior, my sweet Kakarrot, who was there beside me every waking moment, holding my hand, making me feel loved and wanted and needed...

Oh, I still laugh at that funny little fantasy.

My sweet Kakarrot... yes, yes, my dear little lover who tried so very hard to fix me and my broken head. Gods, I was so far gone, even I thought it was hilarious! It was so easy to lure him out just where I wanted him, out both in body and mind where no one could touch him, where he was mine. He loves me, worships me like the god I am no matter what I say or do to him. I've got him so wrapped around my finger there is no hope for turning back. I balance the love and the hate just so he knows that he knows that I love him but that he is worthless on his own. I've always loved how freakishly gullible he is! It's so much fun to feed the lies into his head and watch him fight against his dying morals. I've never been so alive.

Have I lost my mind? Oh, yes.

Is there any hope for the fallen Prince of the Saiyans?

I think not.


End file.
